Tonight’s episode of LOST better be awesome. I have a shit-ton of questions and I demand answers, but am prepared for some crazy plot twists as well. Many of you fellow LOST fans probably spent the day tossing around theories and discussing what’s going to happen in tonight’s season finale. Dan Scully and I are no different. Except that we’re better. I trust that you’ll find our ideas of things that might happen in tonight’s episode far more entertaining than your boss's theory of how Sawyer got back off the submarine. Although what we guessed may not actually happen in tonight’s episode, it would be pretty badass if it did. Enjoy. (Both our lists and tonight's episode. But make sure you enjoy our lists more.)
Dan Scully’s list:
6. Charlie returns from the dead to trap the smoke monster in a bong and get high on “black island boogie”.
5.The island is just a giant Ace of Cakes project, and the magical occurrences are just security to protect it from Hurley.
4. There used to be a sect called The Greg Initiative that acted as a more logical other half to The Dharma Initiative. Sadly, they were unable to remain in partnership due to the fact that they formed said partnership merely after a crazy one night stand.
3. Women who get pregnant on the island only die because the Island is a devout Catholic.
2. Turns out it’s the same island the Skipper and Gilligan were trapped on, but the modern Island has access to better special effects.
1. In a surprise twist, head writer Damon Lindelof is revealed to be a paranoid schizophrenic with no intentions of answering any questions.
Sean Woods’s list:
6: Jacob is revealed to be… Bernard?
5. Sawyer bangs Eloise Hawking. Just because he hasn't yet.
4. Daniel Faraday’s diary reveals a backup plan. In order to get off the island, all they have to do is click their heels together and say, “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.”
3. John Locke continues his time travel. This time he goes all the way back to the 17th century and pens his philosophy of “tabula rasa”.
2. Bruce Willis turns out be a ghost.
1. It is revealed that prior to her death, Libby organized a defecting group of “Others” and trained them in chemical warfare and nuclear arms trade. These followers of Libby discovered the Hostiles’ hydrogen bomb and commissioned Dr. Pierre Chang to build them a bomb of their own with some plutonium they’ve acquired. Instead of building a bomb, Dr. Chang used the plutonium for his own time travel research and built a Sonar Fence to keep the Libby’s supporters away.
As Dr. Chang filmed his final Dharma videotape and prepared to enter the submarine, he noticed a single Volkswagon Dharam van descending down the hill. His son Miles noticed the alarmed look on his father’s face.
“Oh my god. They found me.” Dr. Chang tells his son. “I don’t know how but they found me!”
“Who?” Miles asks.
“THE LIBBYANS! Run for it, Miles!”
Dan Scully’s list:
6. Charlie returns from the dead to trap the smoke monster in a bong and get high on “black island boogie”.
5.The island is just a giant Ace of Cakes project, and the magical occurrences are just security to protect it from Hurley.
4. There used to be a sect called The Greg Initiative that acted as a more logical other half to The Dharma Initiative. Sadly, they were unable to remain in partnership due to the fact that they formed said partnership merely after a crazy one night stand.
3. Women who get pregnant on the island only die because the Island is a devout Catholic.
2. Turns out it’s the same island the Skipper and Gilligan were trapped on, but the modern Island has access to better special effects.
1. In a surprise twist, head writer Damon Lindelof is revealed to be a paranoid schizophrenic with no intentions of answering any questions.
Sean Woods’s list:
6: Jacob is revealed to be… Bernard?
5. Sawyer bangs Eloise Hawking. Just because he hasn't yet.
4. Daniel Faraday’s diary reveals a backup plan. In order to get off the island, all they have to do is click their heels together and say, “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.”
3. John Locke continues his time travel. This time he goes all the way back to the 17th century and pens his philosophy of “tabula rasa”.
2. Bruce Willis turns out be a ghost.
1. It is revealed that prior to her death, Libby organized a defecting group of “Others” and trained them in chemical warfare and nuclear arms trade. These followers of Libby discovered the Hostiles’ hydrogen bomb and commissioned Dr. Pierre Chang to build them a bomb of their own with some plutonium they’ve acquired. Instead of building a bomb, Dr. Chang used the plutonium for his own time travel research and built a Sonar Fence to keep the Libby’s supporters away.
As Dr. Chang filmed his final Dharma videotape and prepared to enter the submarine, he noticed a single Volkswagon Dharam van descending down the hill. His son Miles noticed the alarmed look on his father’s face.
“Oh my god. They found me.” Dr. Chang tells his son. “I don’t know how but they found me!”
“Who?” Miles asks.
“THE LIBBYANS! Run for it, Miles!”
Honestly, I think Sawyer might actually bang Eloise Hawking. We all know the rules : If you're in different time zones, or are lost in the mid seventies, then it's NOT CHEATING. Sorry Juliet(I still think you're hotter than Kate, so if you wanna throw some awkward back at Sawyer, I'm your man!)
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